Ghosting, Benching or Caspering?
In the spirit of building my platform… I think it’s only fair to share a little bit more of me with you…and I’m not talking about getting “the girls” out…or any other parts of my anatomy…sorry fellas! I’m talking about sharing stories that are in line with my book…inspirational, uplifting or just downright bloody funny!
I will leave the “Debbie Downer” posts to others…the animal cruelty, the politics and the walking away from drama (note: normally the ones walking away…caused it in the first place)…oh and the inspirational quotes…like “You are Enough”… well I know I’m enough… so no need for me to post them either. Instead my page will be a haven for levity and good humor…where anyone with a sense of humor is welcome!
So to cheer y’all up …I thought I would share with you a little dating story…after all who doesn’t love themselves a little romance…especially in today’s digital age…where “courting” and “romancing” of a glorious bygone era have now been replaced by “ghosting”, “benching” and “caspering”… the latter apparently the newest term used to reject someone nicely instead of disappearing without a word! How very kind!
I don’t know about you ladies (or fellas) but whatever happened to “Sorry…I’m not interested”? I mean “Caspering”…WTH is next! “Gizmo-ing?” My sister had a lovely cat called Casper… god rest his wee soul…only now his name will be forever remembered as an analogy for a “nice” rejection via text…and not as the namesake of one of my favorite cartoon characters growing up…”Casper the Friendly Ghost”!
I can just hear it now…John said to Mark “I ghosted Tracey, benched Julie and caspered Stacey so I could date Sue”!! Whoever said romance wasn’t dead…obviously hasn’t had to deal with this new age digital/texting/sexting crap. Our dear Scarlett would be turning in her grave…that’s for damn sure!
I digress…it all started out so innocently, so “hopeful”…one beautiful Sunday afternoon “on a packed “MARTA” train”…on my way to the Super Bowl LIII…2 months ago! Across a sea of Pats Fans…a “Tom Brady” look alike locked eyes with me…his dreamy gaze taking my breath away! Just joking…here’s the dealio! I was on MARTA… on my way to the Super Bowl and as one of the lucky few to bag a seat on a busy train I got chatting to the guy sitting next to me… who was also headed downtown to partake in the Super Bowl festivities. During the short ride from Buckhead to downtown…we had normal chitchat…he asked me where I was from…and by the end of the ride, we exchanged numbers.
Now I know what y’all thinking…”She exchanged numbers with some random guy on MARTA…sounds a bit iffy”…but he was a regular clean-cut guy…and yes I know “Ted Bundy” was clean-cut too…but this guy didn’t give me a serial killer vibe…and let’s be honest…meeting a guy on a train and exchanging numbers…is no more iffy than exchanging numbers at a bar with a guy…when you’re three sheets to the wind.
Anyhoo… I don’t want to turn this post into “War and Peace”…so let’s call this guy MARTA GUY just to keep things simple! Shortly after said train ride…and the same day…MARTA GUY texts me telling me…it was great meeting me and that we should grab a drink sometime! I responded that it was nice meeting him too. Tone “pleasant”…not “over-eager”!
This was early February folks…then nothing! Was he perhaps planning to grab this drink with me in 2020…or benching me…who knows…but as someone who can buy their own drink…I was like “whatever…next”! Fast forward to April…and out of the blue…MARTA GUY texts me…”Just checking in”…starting to sound familiar ladies? While this timeline doesn’t exactly spell “chompin’ at the bit” (as we would say in Scotland) to grab that drink with me… more like “Let me weigh up all my options…” I was open to whatever…since this had been a casual encounter.
MARTA GUY continues…You were on my mind…wanted to check in with you and wondered if you’d like to grab a drink or lunch…when I get back in town. I said “sure” and told him to let me know when he’s back in town. He says “Sounds great”!! So far, so good! No need to read between the lines, decode the texts…this is all sounding very straight-forward…isn’t it ladies? No game playing, no hedging, and no playing too hard to get…just mature communication…very adult I thought!
And right on cue, MARTA GUY circles back with me. He keeps his word too!! WOW just WOW!!
MARTA GUY: You around this week?
Me: I am
MARTA GUY: Awesome! We need to make this happen then!
Me: Yes…we need to make it happen this week or late May. I’m headed out of town next week.
MARTA GUY: Well then def this week
Me: Ok. Let me know what works for you and we can work it out
MARTA GUY: Cool. Let me figure something out and we will make it happen. What nights are you available this week?
Me: I have plans Wednesday and Saturday but other than that I’m flexible.
MARTA GUY: Perfect
“PERFECT” he said. Well that was easy I thought…a man with a plan!
As someone who tends to take people at their word…I expect follow through and I expect communication when a plan changes! I know the nerve…right! So the week came and went with no word. No text to cancel, no text to reschedule…nada!! And at this point nothing short of being hit by a MARTA train and laid up in the ICU would’ve been excuse enough for me!
Then Sunday night rolls around…
MARTA GUY: Hey you? How is your weekend going?
Now do I look like I’m off the slow boat from China or what? “Hello”…you were supposed to circle back and let me know the plan…NOT…circle back after the week is over…and ask me how it’s bloody going! Obviously I didn’t respond. Seriously, do I look like a woman …that badly in need of a drink? I don’t think so!
And then when I didn’t respond…3 hours later…
MARTA GUY: Where is Clare? LOL (smiley lol face)
Now I know they say, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” but in this case…this guy is from freakin’ Pluto! What part of the memo did I not get?? So peeps please decode what just happened! Was I benched, caspered or WTH just happened?
Ghosting, Benching or Caspering.- which one is it ladies?
