Married At First Sight
Ladies, c’mon fess up… am I the only one, whose guilty pleasure is “Married at First Fight Sight”?
I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve never been married. Don’t have enough drama in my life. Or need to get a life (or all three) that I look forward to my weekly fix of “CRAY CRAY” and this Slow-Motion Train Wreck…where four couples get hitched straight outta the gate and go through eight weeks of wedded hell before deciding if they want a lifetime of continued hell.
While this show makes for great TV; a great marriage I’m not sure it makes…since it feels as though…at least the last couple of seasons… that I’ve had a front-row seat to emotional abuse…where I’ve wondered at times what the hell “The Experts” were thinking…putting certain people together. I’m no psychologist, but such is the obvious incompatibility of some couples (from an armchair spectator perspective of course), it does leave me pondering…whether certain people are matched… the sole purpose of making “good TV”, and not necessarily a good marriage… as the show turns emotional abuse into a spectator sport.
Last season’s Kate, whose light we saw dimmed faster than Usain Bolt in the 100 meters…thanks to the verbal whiplash she suffered at the forked tongue of her manipulative and passive-aggressive hubs Luke…has now been replaced by another “desperately-looking-for-love-at-all-costs-including-self-esteem” Amber, who wants so much to be loved (the result of childhood abandonment issues) by her newly beloved Matt, that she makes a doormat look like it’s standing up. Prepared to put out 24/7 to a third-rate Basketball Player, in spite of his blatant disrespect and lack of interest, I find myself wanting to shout “Get a grip girl…where’s your self-respect…you are better than that?” I know I get fired up!
But back to “The Experts”…what made y’all think that a guy whose idea of settling down, is being in one place for more than 5 minutes…who doesn’t have a steady paycheck or own so much as a TV…would be the right fit for a girl who is so wounded…and who so badly craves and needs stability in her life…that you match her with some 30-something loser nomad…who’s been bouncing around since he was 16-yrs-old…and doesn’t have so much as a pot-to-piss-in or a window to throw it out of! I’m no Dr. Phil either, but even Stevie Wonder could’ve seen this one coming! And yes I know it’s just a show, but this girl is going to need a lifetime of therapy to get over it.
While it’s the “Amber and Matt” relationship, that has me wanting to slap sit down with Amber…with a glass of wine in hand…to discuss the importance of self-worth and knowing your value…it’s Jamie and Beth…another Train Wreck couple…that has me shaking my head…going “why the hell” were they ever matched! And I called this one straight from the comfort of my couch before she stepped her crazy ass in front of the altar. Did anyone else see this one coming a mile away? I mean, isn’t she cuckoo for cocoa puffs…or is it just me?
This one is a classic case of opposites attract repel! I mean, what could go wrong? You have Beth, a “Free Spirited”, “Sage Burning” “Diva” – with a potty mouth and creepy Dad – whose “go-to”… in times of stress, is “F**K You” coupled with dramatic meltdowns…in lieu of adult conversation (because we all know meltdowns and “F U’” work), with Jamie, a neat freak (usually code for OCD & control issues), go-gettin’ Tech-Exec with his Sh*t together (out of the bedroom but sadly not in the bedroom according to the new MRS) who needs to up his sexual game since our Bethie didn’t sign up for “No Basic Caucasian Sex”…and needs more romancing…flowers and a back massage to be precise…to make it “Non Caucasian Sex”.
When they’re not going at it “Basic-Caucasian-Sex-Style” which until now has been the only high point in the relationship says Jamie (paraphrasing of course)…they are going at it with low blows (Jamie would be happy…if it was that kind of low blow)… that would quite frankly have me (or any person with healthy self-esteem) looking for the front door and not the bedroom door…but then again that’s just me.
In my humble opinion… the Beth/Jamie relationship dynamic…is a bit more ”50 shades of grey”(unfortunately for Beth not in the bedroom) in the “blame game” when deciding who’s worse in this toxic duo…since both are very capable of hitting below the belt. Does Jamie bring out the “CRAY CRAY” in Beth…due to his passive-aggressive and condescending jabs…he sure does…but something tells me her “CRAY CRAY” has always been there…and just needs a little stoking before her inner “Chucky” rears its head! And unfortunately for Jamie, there’s no amount of sage burning that’s going to rid him of her “Crazy Town.”
Okay, that’s my 10 cents! To all you love birds out there, if you want to see “how not to communicate,” tune into Married at First Sight on Lifetime every Wednesday at 9.00 pm Eastern.
